Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Thursday, January 24, 2008
why couldnt this happen around here
this would be cool i would have tryed buy it to try and eat it horses are evil and we should eat them all to rid the earth of them
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Friday, January 18, 2008
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
cats(or anything with out thumbs for that matter) shouldnt wear cloths
this link makes me sick scroll down for all the dress up kitties yucky
Monday, January 14, 2008
thinking
tonight a friend came to me with a problem kinda the same thing i was going though with cheryl she had this guy who is seeing somebody else living with them in fact i belive but she has feelings for him i tryed to help her as she helped me but its very rough to be in that spot having feelings for somebody that treats you like shit like a second class person i told her to get him out of her life(i know this is very diffacult) but it got me thinking aboot cheryl again its fucken hard isnt it when your on the short end of the rope thinking of jumping as much as you wanna hold on you wanna wrap it around your neck just to never let go but i think i may have finally let go but who the fuck knows i went over to yve's house on friday night it was fun i had a good time we kissed for the first time that was very nice just a good bye kinda thing i was going to try and make a move but i was too chicken shit i kept her up way to late and she had to work the next day but i tryed to leave and she would say "oh i wantyou to go but i dont" and such we hung and watched a couple movies and some tv the first movie we watched had bam margarri(sp) in it im going to go look up the name right now it was really good not just jackass stunt stuff but a real movie it did have a few stunt thingys and some skate boarding but it was aboot his friend who got dumped by a girl and he took it very hard bam and his other buddies tryed helping him and such Haggard(imdb link) was the movie i guess it based on a true story thats even better well the buddy(Ryan Dunn) finally got over her but she screwed with him a bunch before i laughed at some of the shit i had just gone though it kinda felt funny doing that but also thearaputic(sp) i dont know im just addicted to love or something i guess i really like yve and dont wanna screw shit up with her but well see.................... are you really for the endlesss summmmmmer
a couple things in the up coming months im looking forward to
so i know april and may are a little ways away but im looking forward to are now yearly 4/20 weekend me and jon have gone the past 2 years to fairhaven state park and gotten cabin #12 it rocks we have other folks up its just a good time and also on may 4th i got invited to go with bob and jon and others on the wine and herb tour on seneca lake it should be a goodtime were getting a limo so it will probably be better then the ones i have been on before(they were alot of fun just im just triing to block them out somewhat as i went with cheri and you know my feelings aboot her right now i guess you dont but they change so often that sometimes i dont even know them oh well) so woohoo cant wait they should both be a great time
Friday, January 11, 2008
my tax return wish/shopping list
A couple of wiimotes so ill have four and and more folks can play maybe an other nunchuck too
and im sure there are a couple games for the wii and 360 i might get
the asus eee pc check it out here
i also wanna get a new desktop if i got enough jon said he would help me build one nothing to special but the one i have at home is starting to die
from Alandia.deummm i owe some money so that too and im sure ill find more shit to waste my hard(haha) earned money on
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Notice Left BALDWINSVILLE NY 13027
01/08/08 2:47pm
Arrival at Unit BALDWINSVILLE NY 13027
01/08/08 2:42pm
Processed SYRACUSE NY 13220
01/08/08 8:59am
Inbound International Arrival JOHN F. KENNEDY APT/NEW YORK
01/07/08
6:27pm
Inbound International
Foreign International Dispatch GREAT BRITAIN
01/05/08
3:14am
Foreign International
Foreign International Dispatch GREAT BRITAIN
01/05/08
3:14am
Foreign International
Foreign Arrival at Outward Office GREAT BRITAIN
01/05/08 2:53am
Foreign Arrival at
Foreign Arrival at Outward Office GREAT BRITAIN
01/05/08 2:53am
Foreign Arrival at
Origin Post is Preparing Shipment GREAT BRITAIN
01/04/08 11:16pm
Origin Post is
woohoo im going to pick my green fairy up in the morning
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
cheri is in red im in blu
i wrote this to her-------jason
and this is her reply
you know jason- all those pics were really fucking mean, but i enjoyed them. i posted them for all of my friends to enjoy also. the ones about me being fat were really original. i really had no idea i was fat. thanks for bringing it to my attention. it's a pity you can't see all the loljasons my friends have made. they actually used photoshop. their's are much better than your's. that's because they don't need to use some juvenile online generator. well good for her and them if she dosent wanna know what i have to say aboot her or how im feeling aboot her then she should stop reading my blog she didnt care enough to tell me she had found somebody else why does she care what the fuck i have to say now and yeah they were mean she total fucked me didnt she what was i supposed to just take it and roll over and be happy fuck her i gave her alot i stopped hanging out with friends i would jump at her command i would spend way more money then i had to try and make her happy but that wasnt enough no she had to start fucking some guy without telling me wow thats really really selfish and self centered but i guess i was blind to the real her, pussy and close friendship does that to me
the only thing you are sorry about is how YOU feel. and quite frankly, my life will improve even more dramatically when you decide to stop writing about me, making lolcheris, and give me my money. you will never ever get my new phone number, aim screen name, or access to my blogs first hand ever again. yeah im sorry that i was so dumb to think you might have the compassion that most folks have or any at all or care aboot anybody but herself i dont want her new number or other shit anymore i will let her know when i get the money and she can come pick it up and an other thing im not the one hiding running away cause i know what i did was hurtful and mean and wrond but ileft it all in the open and fess up to it she was the one in the wrong this whole time but she wont face her mistakes she did all this she is got what she wanted in the end me gone but had to take the little childish way to do it
the way you have behaved lately is so completely immature and just plain stupid. you are setting yourself up for future imbalances and failures. you are setting a bad example for your child. you are making a complete fool out of yourself. i know i was making a fool of myself but i had to let it out some how she just dropped me like yesterdays news and as for a bad example for ethan i dont think showing that you feel for somebody is a bad example and it's not like i let him read my blog its an adult thing thats not ment for kids yeah i may have my imbalances and failures but i keep going and living caring for folks feelings unlike her who only cares aboot herself it's nice to be important but its more important to be nice is something she should think aboot
stop apologizing. i care not to hear what you have to say. don't bother to email me anymore unless you have something of substance to say. my brain is split between work, school, and guitar lessons now. there is no room in it for your bullshit. yeah thats what i have been saying for sometime now there wasnt room in your life for me that was the big problem i kept tellling you i would just leave her alone and get out of her life but i guess for some strange reason she wanted to keep me in it oh yeah i forgot her bike was at my house and i owe her money but yet im the user
and this is her reply
you know jason- all those pics were really fucking mean, but i enjoyed them. i posted them for all of my friends to enjoy also. the ones about me being fat were really original. i really had no idea i was fat. thanks for bringing it to my attention. it's a pity you can't see all the loljasons my friends have made. they actually used photoshop. their's are much better than your's. that's because they don't need to use some juvenile online generator. well good for her and them if she dosent wanna know what i have to say aboot her or how im feeling aboot her then she should stop reading my blog she didnt care enough to tell me she had found somebody else why does she care what the fuck i have to say now and yeah they were mean she total fucked me didnt she what was i supposed to just take it and roll over and be happy fuck her i gave her alot i stopped hanging out with friends i would jump at her command i would spend way more money then i had to try and make her happy but that wasnt enough no she had to start fucking some guy without telling me wow thats really really selfish and self centered but i guess i was blind to the real her, pussy and close friendship does that to me
the only thing you are sorry about is how YOU feel. and quite frankly, my life will improve even more dramatically when you decide to stop writing about me, making lolcheris, and give me my money. you will never ever get my new phone number, aim screen name, or access to my blogs first hand ever again. yeah im sorry that i was so dumb to think you might have the compassion that most folks have or any at all or care aboot anybody but herself i dont want her new number or other shit anymore i will let her know when i get the money and she can come pick it up and an other thing im not the one hiding running away cause i know what i did was hurtful and mean and wrond but ileft it all in the open and fess up to it she was the one in the wrong this whole time but she wont face her mistakes she did all this she is got what she wanted in the end me gone but had to take the little childish way to do it
the way you have behaved lately is so completely immature and just plain stupid. you are setting yourself up for future imbalances and failures. you are setting a bad example for your child. you are making a complete fool out of yourself. i know i was making a fool of myself but i had to let it out some how she just dropped me like yesterdays news and as for a bad example for ethan i dont think showing that you feel for somebody is a bad example and it's not like i let him read my blog its an adult thing thats not ment for kids yeah i may have my imbalances and failures but i keep going and living caring for folks feelings unlike her who only cares aboot herself it's nice to be important but its more important to be nice is something she should think aboot
stop apologizing. i care not to hear what you have to say. don't bother to email me anymore unless you have something of substance to say. my brain is split between work, school, and guitar lessons now. there is no room in it for your bullshit. yeah thats what i have been saying for sometime now there wasnt room in your life for me that was the big problem i kept tellling you i would just leave her alone and get out of her life but i guess for some strange reason she wanted to keep me in it oh yeah i forgot her bike was at my house and i owe her money but yet im the user
even the longest journey starts with one step
ok so for my 2 readers or whatever got a email from cheri today becuase i wrote her to say i was sorry that was all well i guess she got her friends to tear me a new one making lol jason's as i made lol cheri's but these are better of course they used photoshop and everything well good for them they wasted there time making fun of a big loser wow thats special and also more that she is moving on which started happening in october also she changed her phone number and aim screen name and will never unblock me on myspace well last night that would have really got me in a panic but tonight im cool with it i keep asking myself why did i have feelings for somebody that had no care for me at all why did i fight for somebody who is so heartless mean and selfish i did alot of doing before thinking i did alot of hurtful things but i did them i didnt draw all my friends in to put cheri down i did it on my own cause i wanted to fight for something i thought i loved and maybe it wasnt that i loved her maybe it was that i loved the having somebody there the thought that i could go over to her house and hang that i would meet her on friday after work the thought that i wasnt alone but now that i look back at it i dont think it was her i was really in love with im not saying i didnt have feelings for her but sometimes my mind gets its wires crossed and i confuse like,lust, and the such for love but i guess thats a cross i have to bear and deal with and then the whole loss thing im not going back into that read some older post and you see what i think aboot that well thats an other thing i gotta deal with but i also think its pretty understandable why i act the way i do aboot loss so today i was playing call of duty 4 and i thought to myself shit why do you keep dieing so much and then i said to myself its the way your gong aboot things you run into them head long with out thinking so i changed what i did in the game and stopped dying so much and know im going to try and change what i do in life from now on to i dont wanna jump into anything like i have in the past shit i have jumped into pretty much ever relationship i have ever had head first with my eyes closed not knowing how deep the water really was its how i did most everything in my life not looking to see what i could do to get the best out of the end just going for it not caring how things worked out i know that will be hard for me to do but im going to try my best ok im not going to stop posting anything thing i have brought back everything i ever posted on this blog and its staying up it is/was the way i feel and this is my space to let all that shit out there is alot more i could write aboot but im slacking off at work and really need to get started on my stuff for the night oh wait one last thing i think i saw cheri's dad tonight he was pushing a shopping cart down the road looking for cans in the trash screaming something aboot having a 22 with hallow points and that he was going to shot me(might be my one last dig at cheri might not be) but maybe it wasnt him who knows oh and then there is the whole yve thing shit i really dont wanna talk aboot right this second but i guess i will i have been talking to her for aboot a month now and she is really nice and we have gone out a few times and she came over to my house today(shit i must be crazy talking aboot this on the end of this post oh well) i was still stuck on cheryl or i thought i was(my dealing with loss issue) but im pretty confadint that im done with that and now i can work on screwing up things with yve maybe i will maybe i wont but i am going to talk to her soon aboot taking things slow and hopefully things will turn out for the best but who knows .........................just thinking aboot taking my first next step on that long journey folks call life..... oh yeah one more thing aboot cheryl im glad she is having a better life with out me around thats really what i wanted i really just wish her happiness i know i said alot of stupid and hurtful things but at the time i thought she had riped my heart out but i guess thats all in the past and i cant do anything aboot it now oh well
Monday, January 7, 2008
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Friday, January 4, 2008
letter 2 cheri
hey just wanted to let you know i think im done but who knows i may change my mind go ahead post this and anything else you would like nicole told me you posted crap on your blog so this shit can go up there to i've posted shit on my blog but its not blocked so anyone can see it send all your friends over they can even leave me nasty comments directly whatever i did love you and someplace deep inside probably still do but i woke up to the fact that your a heartless bitch that didnt have any care for me or my feelings so i have been lashing out at you i hope you have an enjoyable life and maybe wake up someday to the fact that your a user and abuser you ended what we had i had nothing to do with it but yet you couldnt be bothered to tell me who is the immature one who is the liar who is the back stabber not me ill go on living my loser life but ill be happy maybe not today or tomarow but i will get out of this funk you put me in someday and ill know i was better off with out you in my life
i wrote this to her becuse the last couple of days i was on a bender with text and im's and the such calling her lots of names such as whore,cunt,bitch,slut...... also calling her out on shit and stuff (things i wont go into cause im not that kinda person) she then posted many of the things i said to her on her myspace blog which you can only see if your her friend i cant but got told this by somebody that she had done this i've tried looking up my aim logs but i guess they dont do that anymore oh well i bet you get my point check a couple posts down or something for my lolcheri's those pretty much sum the things i said up with maybe a couple of calling her a cat lady though in for good messure but hey whatever why should she care what i say aboot her or to her she has no care for me but i guess thats what she wants if she had told me this before she decided to start fucking somebody else or somebodies im still not sure she could have saved herself a very big headache ok i porbably would have blown up then to but she played me and that made it worse she always said we never had a relationship but what the fuck was it then going on trip together hanging out all the time saying i miss you to each other what the fuck so she decided to tell me oh i have been seeing somebody a week before my birthday (nice timing) for like 2 months but she still wants to be my friend that was total bullshit she was worried aboot her motorcycle that was in my garage and the 800 i owe her for the cruise we went on in november atlest a month after she started things with this other guy(there is picture proof on her myspace but she is hiding it by blocking everything but to friends) she used this 2 month time to drop "hints" which i see as her not wanting to fess up to cheating on me that what i see it as even if we werent boyfriend/girlfriend we were fuck buddies but she couldnt be bothered to tell me this cause i only guess she wanted to hurt me or something(more that just shows she dosent care aboot me) but to say oh i still wanna be your friend it will be just like before but we wont fuck ok then lets have it as it was before but that wasnt going to happen more lies like "oh i dont want you to come hang with me cause i like to keep my men and my friends seprate" which is bullshit she didnt want me to come hang out cause new guy was or " please dont buy me that" when i offered to buy he jewlry on the cruise and the wine tour not hey guess what please dont buy me that i dont really have feelings for you it was good but i think we should go our different ways now no she just droped hints "we need time apart" not i dont wanna see you anymore yeah im dumb hints and clues dont really work on me im dense and i know it but she says "oh i didnt mean to hurt you it was an accedent this guy asked me out the week you came to the mill and i have been fucking him for sometime now but i just couldnt tell you" what the fuck planet is she from yeah like i was going to be jumping for joy the woman i had very strong feelings for just used me for 3 or so months woohooo wake the fuck up she calls me a user and self centered that all i care aboot is me wow there killer thats the pot calling the glass black i was totally honest aboot how i felt aboot her but she lied and keep me in the dark who is the real user here after her telling me that she had been seeing somebody else i need somebody to talk to so i turned back to nicole for some support cause yeah i was hurt really bad and i had lost the person who i had thought was my best friend i tried getting into cheris head i tried getting her back in my life i missed her i loved her but she wasnt having it yeah i went a little phsyco sorry i felt hurt betraded and fucked over but to her i was over reacting i was way out of line i needed to get over it easy for her to say she had already moved on she already had somebody to take my place but i was left alone i was forced to cry to friends to make them listen to my pity parties yeah im a loser i have always know this i never claimed not to be but im a good guy i dont hurt folks for no reason i dont try and trick people im upfront with what i want and dont ask for much i dont ware masks around folks i give them me for me but yet she calls me the user i know i didnt take all this like a big boy i was a freaking little whiny baby oh well thats how i dealt with the loss of her from my life yeah i got issuses oh well atlest i feel good aboot myself at the end of the day(most of the time) i have a heart that feels love for folks i dont know if i can say the same aboot cheri but i guess thats the way the cookie crumbles and i need to move on as hard as it is going to be for me i will someday but ill always have a place in my heart for her i do for all the folks i have loved though the years some bigger then others
i wrote this to her becuse the last couple of days i was on a bender with text and im's and the such calling her lots of names such as whore,cunt,bitch,slut...... also calling her out on shit and stuff (things i wont go into cause im not that kinda person) she then posted many of the things i said to her on her myspace blog which you can only see if your her friend i cant but got told this by somebody that she had done this i've tried looking up my aim logs but i guess they dont do that anymore oh well i bet you get my point check a couple posts down or something for my lolcheri's those pretty much sum the things i said up with maybe a couple of calling her a cat lady though in for good messure but hey whatever why should she care what i say aboot her or to her she has no care for me but i guess thats what she wants if she had told me this before she decided to start fucking somebody else or somebodies im still not sure she could have saved herself a very big headache ok i porbably would have blown up then to but she played me and that made it worse she always said we never had a relationship but what the fuck was it then going on trip together hanging out all the time saying i miss you to each other what the fuck so she decided to tell me oh i have been seeing somebody a week before my birthday (nice timing) for like 2 months but she still wants to be my friend that was total bullshit she was worried aboot her motorcycle that was in my garage and the 800 i owe her for the cruise we went on in november atlest a month after she started things with this other guy(there is picture proof on her myspace but she is hiding it by blocking everything but to friends) she used this 2 month time to drop "hints" which i see as her not wanting to fess up to cheating on me that what i see it as even if we werent boyfriend/girlfriend we were fuck buddies but she couldnt be bothered to tell me this cause i only guess she wanted to hurt me or something(more that just shows she dosent care aboot me) but to say oh i still wanna be your friend it will be just like before but we wont fuck ok then lets have it as it was before but that wasnt going to happen more lies like "oh i dont want you to come hang with me cause i like to keep my men and my friends seprate" which is bullshit she didnt want me to come hang out cause new guy was or " please dont buy me that" when i offered to buy he jewlry on the cruise and the wine tour not hey guess what please dont buy me that i dont really have feelings for you it was good but i think we should go our different ways now no she just droped hints "we need time apart" not i dont wanna see you anymore yeah im dumb hints and clues dont really work on me im dense and i know it but she says "oh i didnt mean to hurt you it was an accedent this guy asked me out the week you came to the mill and i have been fucking him for sometime now but i just couldnt tell you" what the fuck planet is she from yeah like i was going to be jumping for joy the woman i had very strong feelings for just used me for 3 or so months woohooo wake the fuck up she calls me a user and self centered that all i care aboot is me wow there killer thats the pot calling the glass black i was totally honest aboot how i felt aboot her but she lied and keep me in the dark who is the real user here after her telling me that she had been seeing somebody else i need somebody to talk to so i turned back to nicole for some support cause yeah i was hurt really bad and i had lost the person who i had thought was my best friend i tried getting into cheris head i tried getting her back in my life i missed her i loved her but she wasnt having it yeah i went a little phsyco sorry i felt hurt betraded and fucked over but to her i was over reacting i was way out of line i needed to get over it easy for her to say she had already moved on she already had somebody to take my place but i was left alone i was forced to cry to friends to make them listen to my pity parties yeah im a loser i have always know this i never claimed not to be but im a good guy i dont hurt folks for no reason i dont try and trick people im upfront with what i want and dont ask for much i dont ware masks around folks i give them me for me but yet she calls me the user i know i didnt take all this like a big boy i was a freaking little whiny baby oh well thats how i dealt with the loss of her from my life yeah i got issuses oh well atlest i feel good aboot myself at the end of the day(most of the time) i have a heart that feels love for folks i dont know if i can say the same aboot cheri but i guess thats the way the cookie crumbles and i need to move on as hard as it is going to be for me i will someday but ill always have a place in my heart for her i do for all the folks i have loved though the years some bigger then others
Thursday, January 3, 2008
got a couple bottles of this coming in should be here next week thinking aboot having a party anyone that would like to try the green fairy let me know it will probable be a friday night as that is easiest for me the place i got it though is here if you wanna more info or just do a search for absinthe this is the same stuff i got on the cruise and i really liked it
you cant hurt me anymore then you already have i have woken up to the fact that your a stupid cunt heartless bitch that will get yours in the end but i still wish you the very best cause i have a heart and care aboot folks unlike yourself you called me a user today but its really you who uses folks im strait out and up front with people unlike yourself who hides shit and keeps things to herself your scraed to share your feelings cause then you might not seem cool or strong or whatever the fuck you try to show to the world it will all come back to you though someday when your living alone with your cats (how many dozen you will you have im guessing an even gross) have you will think back to when you where younger and didnt care what you did to folks or how you hurt them yeah you have tons of folks around you now but are they real friends or just folks you know and hang out with do they know your dreams and hopes im glad im a loser atlest i know how to treat folks with out having to be payed for it you dont care aboot anything but yourself thats fine cause thats all you have at the end of the day
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
i shouldnt but im dumb anyway
i dont wanna post shit like this but it rattles around in my head till i wish it would just pop i know im mental or something i have shitty thoughts all the time i try to do stuff to take my mind away but that lasts so shortly then im back to the blues and blacks that seem to be filling my mind lately i try to get past it i really do i tell myself your not bad your a worth while person but i cant belive the lies its felt as if i havent been in my own body for sometime now im running on auto-pilot i used to have things i wanted to do but now everything just feels the same its all blah its all pointless ill just fuck it up ill just end up with nothing in the end cause thats all i put into it is nothing i am worthless i dont know how to change i dont know if i even want to i just have no concept of what i should do i wake up and nothing gets me going i search for stuff i sit and stare at things that have no point no feeling i search for light but my eyes are blind to the goodness of this world right now the happiness makes me sick the joy bring only fear that what is will forever be and i wish so much i could just run just leave everything and let it grow because i only bring pain sorrow and heart ache where every i go i should run for the mountains take myself away from those which i have hurt some much already maybe that would be for the best i think i like being alone so much not because im worried others will screw things up but if im alone there is nobody around for me to fuck over a i seem to do all the time i should be locked up im sitting on the end of the diving board and the deep end of the pool shows my refection so good im thinking of diving in
there is one point of light that i can see and thats ethan no matter how bad a dad i am or how bad im feeling he just knows how to press the right buttons for me he is wonderful and im sorry im his dad because he diserves so much better
there is one point of light that i can see and thats ethan no matter how bad a dad i am or how bad im feeling he just knows how to press the right buttons for me he is wonderful and im sorry im his dad because he diserves so much better
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