going to see if i can drink a liter and a half of wine by myself tonight maybe some other shit too happy new year

Cannabis and Sex

link

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happy new year

last new years was great probable my best ever this years is gonna to be kinda shitty i have the feeling hope yours is better then mine happy new year

Knights on the lake

what i want for christmas next year

here

Daft Punk - Interstella 5555

this is a video by daft punk its an hour long anima(cartoon) set to the album Discovery
here

My xmas puzzle

its very difficult they move and such and its all 3Dish this picture dosen't do it justice

jason dosen't know

i was going to write here how much i think cheri is a heartless bitch that i hopes get hers in the end but i guess i wont i dont know whatever

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today I was thinking why I fight so much the loss of somebody that I think loves/likes me whatever I fight tooth and nail not to lose them from my life I'll never get to fight for her love I never get to try and win her back into my life so I project these feelings onto others onto the living when in fact I want the dead I want her back I don't know if we would still even be together but I like to think we would be she was so special to me and still is I'm lost at that moment that pain still runs though me everyday I would give anything to have taken her place to give my life for hers I hate her sometimes for leaving me I hate myself all the time for leaving her I should have stayed I know I wouldn't been able to do anything and I had been up for 2 days and the doctors all said she would be fine but still I should have stayed I try my best to make the woman in my life happy because I'm projecting more I didn't have to do anything to make Shanna happy it just happened I miss her so much I loss(love&miss we used to say it to each other) her I know its been 8 years but it still feels like yesterday I got that call I dropped the phone and put my head though the wall now I think what the fuck there are folks on this earth now that I love and care for but can do nothing about so I fight them till they hate me I try not to get mean but sometimes i do I just think about how much I love them and blast them with that I don't know how to let go of them as I still haven't figured out how to deal with losing Shanna I still think one of these days I'm going to turn a corner and bump into her I don't know this probable sounds dumb and it's just the ranting of a simple minded fool but it's how I feel I'm so very sorry to everyone

a good news story on absinthe

here

so

tonight i did it i finally pissed cheri off so much she dosent want me to contact her anymore and finally told me what she really thinks aboot me this can only be a good thing i guess oh well whats done is done but that dosent make me any less the loser who will end up by himself alone someday after ethan learns that his father is a worthless nothing

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just woke up feel like sharing some feelings nothing more then watercolor memeries of things that used to be

ok so i have been feeling pretty bad aboot myself
latly and its been my own fault cheri was very clear
from the start that what we had couldn't go any
farther but i must have blocked that out[i can be
quite thickheaded] i let myself fall into the thought
that we were a couple but what in truth was we were
friends that also had sex very close friends that hung
out quite often and did fun shit went on trips spent quite alot of time together we jumped right from being folks that knew each other to a i guess confusing relationship to my simple mind i really thought we were more then friends but there i go thinking so the past 3 months fighting, saying,& doing all kinds of shit to try and keep her in this make believe world i had made up in my head but to no avail she was done she had found a new person to fill the spot that had
been for me she says she couldnt tell me for she had yet to make up her mind till but a week or so ago but by her actions towards me i just cant believe that she has said she is sorry many times for keeping me in the dark about her new 'friend' and that she wants to remain friends with me and i have wanted to stay her friend but for the last couple days i have been questioning this choose we hung and stuff and became pretty close before we started whatever we had should have been called i guess and shit we talked pretty much every day for 9 or so months but yet she couldnt tell me she no longer wanted to be as close anymore that's cool but keeping me in the dark isnt so i guess i have come to a point were i really don't know what to tell her part of me says you can be adult about this and just be her friend an other says fuck her she hurt you what the fuck do i want to know her for and theres the part that still pines for that made up thing in my head but that is just my thoughts on were im at 515am sunday sorry for the format of this post had to email it while also typing it out no my wii
which is no easy task

It's nice to be important but it's more important it be nice my blog

click pic for bigger

pot costs the gov aboot $40 billion a year they

should legealize it and tax it read more here

a story aboot a guy turning blue

here im thinking of trying it, it makes him unhappy but i think i would like it

a story aboot a guy turning blue

here im thinking of trying it, it makes him unhappy but i think i would like it

8 real fairy tale endings

here

the pussy snorkel

ok this seems pretty cool and a good idea here

was going to write this last night but had something come up

i love my job i really do i know its not the most important thing to do in the world but i like to think i bring folks a great service i get to stuff on my own time as long as im done by 7am each morning it dosent matter when i do things which the slacker i am loves and then im here all alone for most of the night only aboot 1 1/2 do i have somebody else working with me which is great too i know if anything goes down it was me not somebody else plus i just enjoy time alone they tried putting a second person on with me it sucked it was the person i had nothing against them just the fact somebody else was here i was mad at and would only want a few folks and still i dont like working with others ok enough of this just wanted to say i love my J.O.B. and i just got a gift basket from one of the owners nice :)

had a dream aboot shanna

ok i guess i dream all the time atlest thats what i think folks say you always dream you just dont remember them so tonight i woke up around 8 and was still sleepy so after a quick smoke and a few other things i feel back asleep before work and i had a great dream i didnt wanna wake up i went to a house and in the yard were some folks i know but i couldnt really tell you who just i know i know them and it was a very nice house not that big but very modern and all high techie there was a party going on and i saw her talking to some folks i went over and hugged her and said hello then for some reason we had to go inside just me and her we went down in the basement and she kissed me and then we got down to the basement and it was like a gym but with no work out stuff there was changing rooms and big shower and such we were the only ones do there and for some reason i was naked and she had all her closes on and had gone into an other room and as she came out a man came down and i ran to find my closes and while i was getting dressed i woke up with a gasp i guess that what jason said i really didnt wanna wake up and i dnt know why i did nobody was trying to get me up and nothing was to loud so who knows i hope i have more dreams like this and i can remember them it was very hazy but i think this is how it went down

how to save money if your a wine drinker

here

an intervel with artie lange

click me click me you have to click on the pages to read them i wish i was going to see him in jan

i's see you

hit up here for more

friday go for the big O

so i guess Friday is World Orgasm Day you can read aboot it here ill be celabrating it alone that sucks but hopefully anyone who reads this will be getting some of the "sexy time"

is this true any ladies that read this i dont get it there are guys out there with 5inch plus around dicks that just seems werid to me maybe im miss reading it our something leave me a comment or send me an email bluj420@yahoo.com

why you should have sex tonight wish i was

clicky clicky

is chivalry dead from a chick

clicky clicky

why you sholdnt get drunk at your work xmas party

clicky clicky

crackeds look at why we do some of the stupid shit we do for xmas

click me
i thought it was pretty funny

click picture for a better view

x-rated snow white

hey check out this old video of a prono version of snow white i really wish i could rip it from the site but i dont know how to if you do let me know

the holidaze suck

i really dont care for this time of year the time when folks are sup

yeah its my brithday

ok so why do i think i wanna kill myself i dont bring anything good to this world so i think if i can get enough balls latter on today im going to finally do it im sorry for all those i have hurt i just fuck shit up i dont mean to but when something is useless you mine as well throw it out so thats what im doing taking the loser nice guy asshole prick out of the picture and folks are always saying but ethan will be lost with out you no he wont im a useless father im probable not even his real dad so i guess its been a good 29 years i hope things get better when im gone

this is me to a T

check out this article aboot nice guys its me for sure and what im going though right now click here
and this is why i think everyone would just be better off with out me most of the time which just goes to show you how to the article is

me and the green fairy

ok so i like me some absinthe i had never had it but found some in st martin so i got a small bottle it was great kinda like drinking liquid weed(some body should invent that well i guess folks make thc teas and stuff already i enjoy smoking so i have never tried that) first you pour some aboot a shot maybe a little more in to your glass then you put a spoon over it they make special spoons with holes just for this reason you place some sugar cubes on the spoon and pour water over the sugar so it dissvoles into the absinthe the water going into the absinthe turns it cloudy its really cool i think i like the prep for stuff like when i smoke weed i like the pack and grinding and such so its cool to me that absinthe has its own way to drink it i guess some folks drink it strait i dont think i would want to but ok so got that stuff from the cruise brought it home and tried it fell in love with it i felt like i was drunk and stoned both in a very good way so i wanted more i ordered a couple bottles of it from absinthe.bz it sells Czech absinthe saying its got the highest thujone levels so i thought hey this shit must be good damn was i wrong i got 2 bottles of absinthe one a lighter version of the other and they both seemed pretty shitty to me they both had very strong alcohol smell to them and it didnt cloud when i added water i learned now those are bohemian style which most folks say is junk but oh well i also got some cannabis vodka which i added to the absinthe a couple of times i was hoping to share that with some body maybe ill still get a chance to so for like 150 i got 2 bottles of crap and 1 bottle of the vodka which is pretty good and a absinthe spoon so i guess ill chalk it up to a lesson learned but now i got a order for some of the same stuff(i think) i got in the islands so im wicked pumped to get it oh and also i got a kit from ebay to make my own at home i just started it last night and it takes like a week and a half so ill give my results when i get to try it
"Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder." ~ Shakespeare

its nice to be important but its more important to be nice

more man its whats for dinner

click me

a pretty cool craiglist post

here
its aboot where all the nice guys have gone

what will they think of next

check this out it would be cool to have one

loss

i dont deal well with losing not in the sence of games and such thats no biggie but loseing folks hurts me bad i seem to go in and out of folks lives and its strange like last night i ran into bryan and we didnt say a word to each other yet i have known him for like most of my life its strange to think i shared things with him yet we pretty much strangers now i didnt know what to say or do so i just kept my mouth shut which i something i need to start doing more or do i need to go to the other end and just spew things out as i see fit when i was younger and hanging with my main group of friends i would go up to a week sometime not speaking those times when great im not a good communcator i dont know i just never really learn the art my written stuff always looks like it was done by a 13 year old i write all over the place and draw dumb little pictures and speaking man i mumble and um and ah so much i never know what to say i guess maybe i have fried out that part of my brain smoking weed or something

man its whats for dinner

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it really pisses me off that she is out now have a grand old time with out a second thought aboot me it hurts so much to think i wont be around her any more i wont get that warmth in side me from being with her i know i was never your boyfriend but i tricked myself into thinking i could be someday what a fool i made myself out to be

i really enjoyed the good times we had and really wish things had turned out different i always worry that the time im enjoying things will be my last and now that is true with you

i wanna find a girl who likes me for me not some one that wants me to change then tosses me when the next guy comes along is that too much to ask for im a good guy i give and give and end up getting fucked in the end oh well i guess thats what door mats are for walking all over with out a second glance

ok so it may comes as a surprise to the readers of this blog that i had a strange out look on things for the last couple of days guess what thats done fuck it im saying what i want if you dont like reading it then dont im fucken hurt and cheri is the bitch that did it she thinks that she has been honest and truthful thats bullshit she has been playing me saying oh we need time apart not hey i wanna see other folks she has been fucken somebody for who the fuck knows how long and just told me yesterday cause my blog posting were scareing her or some stupid shit fuck that its my blog ill post how i want how i feel and i feel really fucked up she keeps saying im being thick headed no i was thinking with my heart something i doubt she fucken has she is a cold bitch who only uses folks for what she needs then tosses them to the side like old trash oh well she wants to be friends but shows it in the most fucked up way just pushing me to the way side not comeing out and being a big girl she dirts around the point she ripped my heart out and is prob getting a huge kick off of it she loves to cause pain and torment well i hope she is rolling around luaghing her little fucken head off while he new prob little dicked guy is at her beck and call you wanna stay a child well guess what you act like a little girl so you got what you want im in pain and heart ache and its my own fault but you could have been adult aboot it nope that isnt your style i hope you have fun at your wine orgies and wednesday night goth thingys oh we are so cool we only wear black and our life sucks i went to one once and the dumb ass dj was playing oldies wow that was fun it was nice being with you but your right i need a grown up to be with not some little girl who dosent give a fuck what she does or who she hurts as long as she is haveing a good time "cause cheri gets what cheri wants" then why dont you get those gaols done that bullshit you made up to try and get me to go away god you say you are so up front but thats bullshit your a scared little bitch i hope you enjoyed fucking me over very much cause i tryed to give you everything i could and you just shited on me but keep telling yourself that i was being the thick headed fool for not seeing that you were done with me what ever i suck im a worthless peice of shit

wonderful my life is

i just gotta say again how great things are going in my world i could ask for better friends and such a wonderful son im all sunshine and daydreams :)

just thinking aboot how everything is so wonderful in my life and wanted to share hope your day is as good as mine :)

yeah my brithday is in 5 days

it will be a great and joyful day for sure jon says he is going to take me to see i am legend that will be cool

a new blog

ok so my old blog was bringing cheri down so im starting a new one only happy shit on here though :)