I need to learn to Not dream and wish so much

I create my own distrustions I'm a gluten for punishment why do I think hints will be better then they are why do I trick myself into to thinking things will be ok I need to stop! 

a couple of my  doodles the first I was thinking aboot going to Alice this year but that dream got popped earlier and the second just how I been feeling lately knowing I'll never have a chance with her again I fudged up big time what a stupid fudgen loser